No happy endings here!

I had previously written this as a note on Facebook, but as I re-read it today it made me chuckle so much I decided to blog it.  Enjoy!

When most of you hear the term "happy ending", you think warm and fuzzy, the end of a good book or movie, maybe the outcome of a challenging situation. Well, mention those words to a masasge therapist and you could just as well grate your nails down the chalkboard and get a better response! In my 11 years as a therapist I have heard those ugly words only a handful of times, but a more recent incident left me really wondering if men are pigs (ok, I know most men really are not, but the naughty ones are still out there!). You see, happy endings are an ending that most people will never experience after a massage, yet many men still seek them out.  I have had subtle attempts thrown at me, trying to lure me closer and closer to "there" with complaints of groin pulls, or a shifting of the body so I might accidently get "too close". But my favorite has got to be my most recent experience, and subtle it was not. "Mr. X", who had no prior incidents to roust my caution, did not heed my instructions to climb IN BETWEEN the sheets. As I emerged from behind the curtain to begin our treatment I was blinded by the whiteness of places the light doesn't shine, in full glory on top of the table. Now my background in Occupational Therapy (working on self-cares in nursing homes, you get the point) has given me total comfort with bodies of all shapes and sizes, but he was not there to be bathed! I quickly stepped back out and reminded him professionally that he need to cover up, State Law says so. It really is a law, so thankfully I had that to hide behind. Once the blunder was corrected, the poor guy really felt the need to push his desperation and came right out and asked for a "happy ending". At least he cut right to the chase! He explained his last therapist in Milwaukee used to end his sessions with happy endings (SHAME on her) and he loved the release. Well duh, who wouldn't love that release after a nice massage? Fact of the matter is as professionals we could lose our license and thankfully I had that to hide behind again. Massage Therapy as a profession has spent decades trying to lose the image that happy endings are standard, and many people still hesitate to try massage for that very fear. Needless to say there were no happy endings to that visit and I'm sure he will seek out a new therapist for his next visit! So remember-massage therapy is synonymous with "no happy endings here"!